I Choose You: The Story Behind The Song

 I first sang "I Choose You" in tears, in my car, while making a U-turn. The song was of course not properly formed. It had no structure to it, just verse chorus verse...just me realizing that my heart was wavering. I basically had a heart divided. I talked to God about pretty much everything. I had the faith for almost anything. I just didn't know that I began to become complacent about one thing...this "guy/relationship". Because I was waiting for so long I started to let compromise ease its way in. So being in a relationship with God, but cheating on Him when I felt the need to, or was it the other way around? Whoever got more attention...it didn't matter. He (God) made it quite clear that night that I had to make a choice, and I think we were arguing in the car and I said well God...you know my situation...I am trying...but I've been waiting too long. You know I have desires. You know you are my King in heaven but I live here on earth. I decided to justify my cheating or my situation based on Him not coming through, but He wasn't having that and so He told me "Choose today who You want to be with". I knew very well that I wasn't just going to hang out with my boyfriend. I knew that if I went there it would be sheets. I was making the choice to go, but His voice was so clear that I couldn't ignore it. His voice wasn't a threatening voice of "if you don't choose me then you are doomed". It was more of a voice that said "Kris, I want you, but I want you to choose me". I think that's when my heart turned and I bawled out saying..."I  Choose You...I promise". So that night I sang to Him "I Choose You, You are the King of my  Desire, I place You on the throne of my heart, Never again...will I stray...away...I'll stay forever and a day". I guess it was me asking Him to trust me with this vow. It was not an easy decision but I'm glad I made it. Writing that song didn't make it easier. However, It has helped me to make better choices. When temptation comes I hear that song. It's kind of like a wedding anthem. Sometimes I listen and sometimes I ignore, but I believe that he created that song as a bond-proposal between Him and me along with all of His beloveds. He just wants us to know that He loves us so much and He wants to be first and not second. So whenever I hear this song, its not so much ooh...the vow I made, I better obey. I just simply remember "wow He loves me so much, He wants to be first, He cares so much and wants nothing less". Still today in my singlehood I pray that I can return His love as I make the choice everyday to "Choose You".                                                                                                                                                

 

To learn more about Kristine Alicia and her music you can visit her website at www.kristinealicia.com 

 

From Trial to Triumph

So often we as women allow ourselves to be stagnant because of past hurts, struggles, and disappointments. We go through things in life and we allow those things to dictate our outcomes, but who says we have to live Life on Life's terms? Who says we have to settle for mediocrity and less than the absolute best because we've been dealt a crappy hand? For so long, I allowed situations in my life to hold me back. I lost myself in the grind of daily living, got caught up in trying to keep my head above water, and when life wasn’t the issue, fear was there to make matters much worse.

I lived for a very long time with such a complex… so talented, yet completely convinced that I was only as good as what I could do for others to make them happy, never mind my own happiness.
After a very challenging 2 years, that broke me down to nothing emotionally, I became a bit of a recluse as I worked to rebuild myself from the inside out. It’s not easy to lose the one thing you spent more than 13 years preparing for, it’s not easy to go through the turmoil and still maintain faith, hope, trust in God and belief that there is a purpose behind the loss.

I believe that I hit rock bottom. Bottom is different for everyone but my bottom was also my wake up call. I had to stop… Stop helping everybody else, stop remaining friends with people who only used me, hurt me, depleted me, and then treated me as out of sight out of mind. I took stock in myself and discovered that there is a lot in me that is aching to get out and though I suffered great loss to get to this point there has to be recompense. I discovered that there was a woman within me getting shoved aside, lost in a sea of EVERYTHING, jumping, waving, screaming REMEMBER ME? I chose to Rescue Her!


My first step was to begin to purge and as I purged I chronicled my journey so I’d have something to look back on during difficult days and also to help others. After purging I got active researching. I am highly creative with many visions and I once had a passion for business that I felt being rekindled. My research lead me to reopening my business, legitimately and each day I press towards one success at a time. I realize that though I’ve suffered much devastation in my 32 years of living, it has all been for this season in my life that I am now entering. I’m much stronger! My Event Planning Business 'Xquisite Artistry' www.xquisiteartistry.com    is just step one in my journey to triumph. Real soon, I will LEAP into Much More!

Though my thoughts are vague my heart is in these words and I hope that you can read deeply between the lines and find your healing as well. Don’t let the turmoil you face in life have the final say… Pick yourself up and begin your own journey From Trial to Triumph!

The Introduction: The Anthem

Good Day Everyone! I want to thank you all for taking time out to read my blog. I put this site up early last month, but with the efforts of trying to get my memoir published, I had to put this on hold until now. The vision I have for this blog is to pretty much be an avenue where Hope is built, Dreams are inspired, and Vision is encouraged via others testimonies, whether it be in written or music form. While going through my many trials in my life, books and music were the gateway to my healing process. If you look in the background of this site, you will see many books. All those books represent someone's story. We all have a story that needs to be told to help someone else. Here's one delivered by Kirk Franklin entitled "Look at me now". There's a line that stood out for me that goes "everyone wants the prize but can't stand the pain". Isn't that the truth? Well consider this truth...Pain is only temporary...but quitting is forever.